Kirk .A. Inniss

These Dreams

All I have are these dreams

and a burning desire

to be better, to do better,

to try

and do all that I can,

that I must.

I have nothing else,

but these dreams

and the love of my family,

and the promises

that I have made

and they have believed,

in blind faith.

It has not been easy, but long

 and the sacrifices

that must be made,

out-weighs the will to go on,

at times.

For indeed I tire,

and the burden of this cross,

 weighs heavy on my spirit.

At times, tired knees,

betray a willing heart.

For certainly I do stumble,

like the blind over dark times,

and I fall, forever at the brink

of being crushed like nothing

under the very structure

of my lost hope.

But,

there are times still,

while laying under the burden

of these promises,

crying over the broken pieces of my dreams,

down and almost defeated,

tired and finding the darkness below,

as sweet relief,

that I hear your voice.

It is these times,

when the world itself,

lacks both compassion and understanding,

that I hear you clearly,

calling me

and bringing with you,

the sweet innocence of your comfort.

I hear your words,

your voice

as I read between the lines of your heart,

and I begin to understand,

the reason that I am here,

in this place,

at this time,

chasing these dreams,

even though they be for this moment.

For as certainly

as the hot tears burn my eyes,

it brings relief to a broken heart.

It is within your voice,

your words,

your hope,

that I realise my life is not mine,

but instead,

littered with sacrifices,

that I have promised,

as easily as you have believed.

It is at that moment,

laying still,

down and almost defeated,

that I remember

the very dept of our love

and even though it be flawed,

it satisfies like nothing else ever could.

My strength though,

with these memories

and these bitter tears,

allows for my passage forward,

as always.

For it seems, just as easy

as I was broken,

your memory makes me whole,

and I am able to see,

better still, as I rise,

that not only will I continue this,

for your sake,

I must also see it to the end.

It is the least that I could do

that I should give,

in return for your believing,

in nothing,

but me and these dreams.

And in the end,

I am sure that

all I have are these dreams,

and a burning desire...

May 21st, 2007

The Old Man

The first time that I saw him,
he didn't speak,
at least not with words,
but in his eyes I could see,
as well as anything
that I have ever heard,
that his life was filled
with sadness.

It showed in his eyes,
a pain that knew no real words.
And in his walk,
a slow sad shuffle
of tired feet,
walking through this moment in time.

He's older, yet wiser still
because
I am sure that
he knows more than we think.
And his feet like his eyes,
have both been to places that we can
only imagine.

He never smiles, never laughs,
but he cries
quietly,
like sprinkled dew,
as he stands in the shadows,
watching.

I feel pity for him
and it weighs heavy on me,
as it does him and
I imagine,
that for him though
the burden is heavier
because,
it is his.

I saw him again yesterday,
same slow walk,
same sad eyes,
same bitter silence,
screaming at us to notice him
as he die,
shouting in the silence
that he hears,
hoping
and still we do nothing,
say nothing,
answering his silence
with our own.

I questioned those eyes once,
with my own
and for a fleeting second
I thought I saw the hope he
chased.
Fleeting of course,
and
as quick as the blink of an eye.

But it was then,
in that quick second that
might have been longer,
I knew.

The next time we would speak
and not with stares,
but with words...

December 10th, 2007

I Remember

I remember the first time that I saw you

and the last

thing on my mind was love,

or anything that might resemble,

affections of a heart,

hardened by bitter days.

There has never been love at first sight

for me,

or even second for that matter

and as I poured over an assignment

that I hardly remember now,

I saw you.

I remember how you looked

and to say that you were

exceedingly beautiful

would be unfair to you.

But to assume that in the limitations

of my understanding

there exists words that could do

such beauty, satisfying justice,

would be unfair to me.

For certainly if such words

indeed float around like

autum leaves on the wind,

they forever dance away from me.

I remember that we stared

at each other

and in such simple action,

 we held a gaze,

like lovers would,

with hands

and the effects I admit

had strange results.

For in a few seconds time itself stood

still

and the gaze we held

like hands

quickened my heart,

I think,

of course that my heart did not beat,

but if it could,

then,

I hoped that it was in time with yours

at least.

But of these things,

 I am not ever quite sure.

And then you smiled

and the beauty that I could not properly

describe earlier,

increased

assuming of course

that such action was possible.

For in that smile,

the dark shadows of my sadness,

faded like the remnants

of a bad dream.

I remember,

as it was on that day

and I am quite sure

that while looking into your eyes,

I was consumed by your beauty

and forever captivated by your smile.

It seemed like we began

that day,

at that exact moment,

in our time

and

nothing has ever been the same since.

I remember the first time I saw you

and the last...

FOREVER

The dead are not lost in our hearts,

not ever.

Neither are they forgotten

and in the heavy silence

of their absence,

we remember

and we love.

Stronger maybe,

better even.

Always.

As promised.

The dead are not lost in our hearts...

September 11th, 2007

The Angel.

There is an angel that I know. At least I think

That I know what goes on,

In her heart, in her soul.

I know that I love her

And that I count the days and weeks

Until our time comes

If it ever

She has no wings, not yet I think,

But she will someday.

What she has is a heart,

As pure as gold I am sure.

And a smile that weakens me

Just as quickly as her laugh.

She is my friend,

She is my joy, she is my love…

She is my life.

All the miles between us now

Is for a moment

We will have our time I promised

Even if I have to brave all odds to prove

That I love her.

She doubts that I know

But someday she will see.

I wait for the time when I could

Look into her eyes

If not her heart.

There is an Angel that I know,

At least I think…

Nov. 05th, 2005